If you need to be a powerful woman, stop hating your selves
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| pxfuel.com |
It seems like everywhere you look, women are tearing each other down. Whether it’s on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, it can be hard to find many women who don’t seem to hate themselves or others around them. This is something that needs to change if women want to improve their overall mental health and self-esteem. Here are some of the most common ways that women tear each other down, and how we can start to reverse this negativity.
Understand what you're judging yourself against
One of our biggest problems is that we’re almost always comparing ourselves against others. But when you do, you’re usually comparing yourself against people who are further along in their lives. When someone’s ten years into a career, it looks like they had a straight shot of success; but when you look back ten years from now, your path will have been different. You won’t regret what may have felt like sacrifices now: going back to school, getting married and having kids younger than some peers, starting your own business—your life may not look how you imagined it would as a teenager or twenty-something. It’s easy to think of body-image issues as female-only problems, but men experience them too. In fact, some studies suggest that rates of body dissatisfaction in men are on par with women. Given our society’s emphasis on a narrow idea of what makes someone attractive, it makes sense that both genders would struggle with how they look and feel about their bodies. Start by looking at what your negative self-image is judging you against: billboards? Magazines? The Victoria's Secret catalog? I'm sure we all have examples of when those representations didn't match up with our own.
Address perfectionism
Perfectionism is a self-defeating attitude. If you think that nothing you do will ever be good enough, you won’t try very hard. To beat perfectionism and work towards your goals, try keeping things in perspective—there are some things that aren’t worth being perfect at, so it’s OK if they aren’t done perfectly every time. For example, making a habit of getting eight hours of sleep per night won’t hurt your health; working 16-hour days on a project simply for more money might make you sick or resentful. Of course, perfectionism isn't always negative.
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| pxfuel.com |
Being critical doesn't make you superior
One of my favorite sayings is, To be critical is easy. To be correct, never. It's something I've learned over time and by observing others. Yes, we're all human and prone to mistakes but that doesn't mean we can't do better as a society or even on an individual level. We're lucky enough to live in a world where we have access to information like never before and there are still many who turn a blind eye when it comes to issues that are more prominent for certain groups of people (in our case women). The fact is gender inequality still exists, yet most are unwilling or unable to see it. Being critical doesn't make you superior; acknowledging what's around you makes you superior.
Self-criticism isn't motivating
Self-criticism is a fast track to failure. If you're constantly telling yourself that you aren't good enough, your self-confidence will take a hit and you'll eventually give up. It's also important not to set unrealistic goals or expect too much of yourself--this is also likely to lead to frustration and burnout. If everything feels like an uphill battle, you're more likely going to be unhappy and less likely to succeed over time. The best way for women (and men) alike is simply learning how get out of their own way by letting go of self-criticism and building positive habits that lead them towards success in both their personal and professional lives.
Talk about your achievements with others, not your shortcomings
Many women have a tendency to constantly remind others of their struggles and weaknesses. Instead, talk about how you got through your problems and what you learned from them. Also, praise yourself—celebrate your accomplishments by sharing them with others. For example, when applying for a new job, tell potential employers about your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Instead of saying, I'm really not that great at public speaking, try I feel comfortable speaking in front of groups. Even if it’s not 100 percent true at first, thinking positively about yourself will help improve your self-confidence and will eventually become second nature.
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| pxfuel.com |
Stop comparing yourself to others on social media
Social media is a playground for comparing yourself to others. When you scroll through endless Facebook photos of someone’s life, it’s easy to get frustrated at how effortlessly everything seems to come together for them. But remember: they only post what they want you—and everyone else—to see. Social media gives an incomplete view of reality and often makes people seem more successful or happy than they actually are. Stop believing everything you see online; instead, focus on making time for your own personal growth and happiness. If you feel like something isn’t quite right in your life, then make changes or create goals that will make you happier in your day-to-day existence.
Take care of yourself first
Remember when you were a kid and you were told to eat your vegetables first, before you could have dessert? In life, we tend to focus on what we want instead of thinking about what we need. If you don’t take care of yourself by eating well and exercising, it will be more difficult for you to keep up with everything else in your life. Your health is important and in order for your business ideas to succeed, it is essential that you are functioning at 100%. To accomplish goals like increasing sales or making big strides with work projects, having energy helps a lot. You don’t have any energy if you don’t eat right or get enough sleep.
Create a support network of positive people who encourage you.
Surround yourself with positive people. The negative thoughts in your head can be overwhelming and debilitating, especially when you have a lot of things on your plate and you’re not yet in control of everything that’s happening. But if you’re going through something and you tell a few people about it, you start thinking about it less as an internal problem. Instead, because you are now sharing it with other people, it becomes external—the problem is no longer just you. You see that other people know about it too; they validate that experience for you.
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