Are you a Positive and Encouraging Woman?
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Men and women are different in many ways. We’re stronger or weaker, faster or slower, smarter or less smart, and each of us has our own unique strengths and weaknesses. At times, this can create conflict between the sexes because men and women simply don’t see eye to eye on how to handle situations. So how can women be more positive and encouraging? By keeping these five things in mind.
Own up to your mistakes
It’s easy to put ourselves down or play small when we make mistakes. One of my clients, for example, thinks that her body is never going to look like what she wants it to look like because she feels like she has wasted so much time making diet and exercise choices that don’t work for her. And now she feels like everything is too far gone. As women, we don’t always have enough patience with ourselves or each other; we get lost in criticism instead of coming together as allies. Of course, self-compassion isn’t about wallowing in your mistakes—it’s about learning from them and recognizing that everyone makes mistakes—even successful people you admire!
Set realistic expectations
In order to maintain our positivity, we need to set realistic expectations for ourselves. Women in particular tend to have an internalized standard of perfection that can be very destructive, resulting in depression or anxiety. Learn how you can let go of unrealistic expectations and shift your focus toward what is actually possible. Use these steps to learn how you can love yourself as you are right now, rather than striving for an impossible goal of perfection. Embracing who you are right now is not only more sustainable but also allows you more energy to work on bettering yourself instead of berating yourself for perceived flaws.
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Practice gratitude
Sincere gratitude can give your mindset a huge boost. Focusing on what you’re grateful for is one of the best ways to fight stress and anxiety. You can spend time each day just writing down 3 things you’re grateful for, such as your health, friendships, career, or even your family pets. If it helps get in an appreciation mindset, start by adding an additional gratitude activity at night before bed: try meditating on them, or read some inspiring quotes about positivity.
Ask questions
When you're brainstorming for ideas, it's easy to get stuck in your own head. Asking yourself questions helps break through that self-imposed barrier. So instead of thinking about how you can improve relationships with other women, what would happen if you turned it around? What kinds of things could other women do that might help build those relationships? You could focus on everyone's favorite subject: Themselves. As mentioned above, honesty is important—we aren't saying you should be dishonest or disingenuous, but asking someone how they're doing or what they've been up to lately is much more likely to get a conversation going than dwelling on your own feelings.
Use positive affirmations
People who are surrounded by negativity or criticism are less likely to succeed. To improve your chances of success, become more positive by using positive affirmations. Say something positive about yourself every morning before you start your day. Keep in mind that if you repeat something enough times, it will become true for you. In fact, many psychological studies have shown that we can change our behavior with self-talk and visualizations - both things that affirmations encourage us to do. Change your mental patterns by challenging negative thoughts, turn them into questions instead of statements, then replace them with positive responses.
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Exercise
Just because you're more positive doesn't mean you have to be an overly enthusiastic Pollyanna. But there are ways to boost your positivity -- even on a bad day. Take it from someone who used to get most of her exercise by getting in my own way: There's no reason women can't be totally awesome versions of themselves without stepping on anyone else along their path. The next time you see another woman putting in work or taking risks, acknowledge it! We don't have do prove ourselves better than each other -- we should be applauding our sisters for embracing their power and kicking ass! Being critical won't make us feel better about ourselves; being happy will.
Connect with other women
Finding someone you can relate to isn’t always easy—especially if your interests are different from what your friends or family members enjoy. Whether you’re looking for professional advice, want to talk about issues in relationships, need help brainstorming ideas for a new project, or just need someone else with experience who understands what you’re going through, there are lots of people who can benefit from knowing you. Women in every field have struggled with similar issues as they pursue their career goals; connecting with other women means that everyone can learn from each other. And whether you prefer one-on-one connections or more casual chats over social media, it might be time to expand your network by making more connections with women in your industry and community.
Laugh, it's free medicine!
Laughing releases endorphins that not only make you feel good, but they also provide real health benefits. Regular laughter keeps stress levels low, boosts your immune system, improves your breathing, can even ease headaches and jaw pain—and it might even help protect against heart disease. That’s not all: Research shows people who are more positive (and less negative) have more friends, better social support systems and live longer lives. So don't hold back when someone's looking for an encouraging word or compliment. Give it to them; you'll both benefit from it in more ways than one!
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