The woman's guide to managing behavior

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A woman's guide to managing behavior. Managing behavior as a woman can be challenging at times, especially if you are involved with an individual who presents himself as unpredictable, temperamental, and volatile. While men are expected to act in assertive, confident ways, women are often encouraged to be more polite and quiet, making it hard to get what you want if you don’t know how to say it out loud. These character traits can lead to quick-tempered outbursts that not only put you on edge but also make you worry about the safety of yourself and others around you. It is important to realize when dealing with this type of personality that your partner’s volatility is largely rooted in their own lack of self-control and inability to resolve conflict appropriately. Here are some tips on how to manage behavior as a woman.

Being too emotional is not an excuse

It may sound cold, but you're a professional, so your emotions need to be in check at all times. That said, if you've had a bad week or something else upsetting happens and it negatively impacts your work environment or ability to do your job effectively and efficiently, take time off if possible. If not and you find yourself too emotional after a particularly stressful situation, walk away from that situation. Go for a walk and come back with a clear head so you can get through what needs to be done. It doesn't make you weak; it makes you smart about being good at your job . . . and happy!

Getting angry does not make you seem strong

A raging, screaming man is often considered a strong leader who’s taking control of a situation. In contrast, a woman with an equally high level of anger is seen as out of control and intimidating. Attempting to exert your authority in that way only makes you seem unstable or mentally ill. Whether you’re dealing with a coworker, child, significant other or employee, when people get angry they need time to cool off. Don’t expect them to make rational decisions right away. Use that time by giving yourself some breathing room as well: don’t respond right away and take five minutes (at least) before picking up that phone call or writing back an email.

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Laughing at inappropriate things

Most people laugh at something inappropriate on occasion. When your child does something cute, most of us feel compelled to tell our spouse about it as soon as possible. So don’t be too hard on yourself for laughing at things you shouldn’t: it happens to all of us! What you can do, however, is take steps not to laugh when you should be serious or when you find something funny that others don’t. Try keeping a mental note of these things so that you can avoid them in future situations and learn how to control your laughter reflex better. Some people have trouble understanding that inappropriate things aren’t actually funny. Their humor tends to be immature and can leave a lot of people feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed. If you know someone who laughs at things that don’t warrant a laugh, ask them politely if they can save their laughter for something funnier. People who care about offending others try not to let it happen again in the future, and your friend will appreciate being given an opportunity to redeem themselves. :)

Help others but don't be condescending about it

No one likes a know-it-all, especially at work. But if you're dealing with a sensitive situation, it's not all about you. If a coworker comes to you with an issue or concern, your first instinct might be to hold back so as not to offend or embarrass them. While that may seem like good manners on paper, it can come off as rude and unhelpful. You have no idea what their experience is; but most importantly, they're asking for help because they don't know how else to handle it! Make sure you communicate in a non-judgmental way and remember that self-control is key--people who ask for advice usually don't want criticism and judgment but rather guidance.

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Accept compliments, even if you think they are insincere

A compliment is never insincere, it’s just a thought you feel comfortable sharing with another person. Whether or not you believe a compliment, accept it graciously and thank them for their kind words. Regardless of whether you have something to thank them for, a simple thank you is always appreciated. The worst thing you can do in response to a compliment is ignore it or argue against it. This can make others think twice before they share anything nice with you in the future.

Don't get too personal with others when discussing relationships

It can be tempting to overshare about your personal life and romantic relationships when talking with a group of friends or colleagues. However, doing so can also hurt you professionally if it makes you seem overly emotional, dramatic or angry. Although people may not judge you negatively in person, they may remember these character traits when thinking about promoting or hiring you in future. Instead of spilling all your details at work, think about what aspects of your life could make an interesting conversation topic without revealing too much personal information. For example, What do you think is the best book on finding love? works better than I just got dumped. You might even come across as more professional than those who talk only business at work.

Never insult your friends' significant others

When you’re with a friend, their SO is your safe space. They should be treated like they are important to you and their relationship with your friend should not be used as fodder for insults or teasing. The same goes for mutual friends. Do not insult someone else’s friends in front of yours or make fun of another person’s significant other in front of them; it does not say good things about you as a human being.

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Appreciate your parents but don't rely on them forever

There’s no doubt that there are some things your parents did right. Your mom taught you how to be a good hostess, your dad taught you how to change a tire. However, you don’t want to rely on them forever. Be sure they know they're still important in your life and that you're grateful for all they've done but when it comes time for tough situations, try and learn from others who have been through similar things before. They may not have an answer for everything, but at least you'll get a fresh point of view on things.

Respect authority but don't let others walk all over you

Not everyone will like you. It's a simple fact of life, and something every woman has to come to terms with at some point in her career. As strange as it sounds, being well-liked isn't a particularly helpful trait when you want people to take you seriously. It may seem counterintuitive, but respectful assertiveness is much more effective than placating smiles and submissive nods for getting people on your side. And once you have their respect, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself: difficult people exist at every level of an organization, so learn how to deal with them early on before it becomes a problem.